Missing Papa
I don't think people get the sacrifices the staffed event teams make doing the job they do.
Yesterday was Father's Day. Many dads were on the road in a motel. Not with their family. Many men and woman are gone weeks at a time. Sometimes months. Its a little easier for us because I can go with my husband, but then we have a little girl at home missing us. (Granddaughter)
Recently, I decided to work more at home than travel. The decision I made is one not for myself, but more for our family. Throughout my husband's career. I've been a stay at home mom to our kids. Now both have kids and its now decided they want me for their kids. Our granddaughter has lived with us sense she was born with a year apart while we went full time on the road. Her dad has a good job,but not enough to live on their own. Our daughter sells at time for us is considering her options for long term and college. Our son and his wife both work full time now they have her son come with me during the week when he isn't with his other grandmother.
This brings me to a situation where I want to be on the road with my husband, but being raised Catholic and a mother. I suffer with guilt 99% of the time.
Raising our kids in this business you have to be flexible and used to change. Often I've compared our life to the military. Though we never can be compared to a job of a soldier.
We are more like dysfunctional warriors of this imperfect career.
This morning our granddaughter was fussing for her Papa after seeing his picture on my tablet. Doing what I've always done with our kids. I called him. Asking if he had time and telling him why I was calling. I passed the phone to her. She was pathetic sounding. It made her better hearing his voice as it always did her mother. Doesn't make it easy on him sense the majority of his parenting was via telephone.
As the primary parent I had to come up with a way that kept him involved while working 7days a week bell to bell. (Translation-long ass hours and little time off). Enter the phone. I would always give him heads up prior to the kids calling. The rule was if they were in trouble. They called. Not once did I say "wait until your father comes home" if they had something to share they called dad. If they wanted to do something they called dad and he would ask what I said. We also had the "we will see" that meant later and as the kids say it was dad's way of saying no, but didn't want to be the heavy. To lesson his guilt for the long hours I took the roll of the tougher parent. Dad just had to back me up or have to "see what he could do" the whole time we were working together, but it made him feel better not being the bad Guy.
Sadly most woman (not all) aren't that creative and frankly are just plane too bitchy to think past themselves. These woman don't get that the success of their husband lies with them. If your husband knows its being handled at home. He has no worries and can kill it in whatever job he is doing. If he is constantly being nagged and bitched at. There is no way he can work to the best of his ability and who does that hurt? The family. Who gets the blunt of the blame? He does. In this business there is give and take. The family gives and the job takes. It isn't my ideal life at times, but its my life and in order to have some sort of balance and sanity. It was up to me to figure it out. So I did.
Big Dick Bob Syndrome
This picture I saw on a friends Facebook page. I read the caption and instantly I thought, " wow I am so lucky!" I am very lucky because I don't ever have to be in that club. All the years my husband has traveled while I was home with our kids. He always put my mind at ease by late night phone calls telling me how much he loved me. Sadly though a point in my life I was so insecure I didn't get the depth of his love and loyality. Not because of him, but because of what I saw as a car wife.
This business is ego driven and with an ego comes many things. One is cheating on the spouse. I dubbed this the "Big Dick Bob Syndrome" years and years ago. As a car wife seeing how things worked. I became closed off to friendship and had little to no trust of anyone. Yes, at times it was even hard to trust my husband. Not from anything he did. It was more guilt by association. Through his career I met many couples who we socialized with. I was miserable. The wife constantly complained, nagged, and was just never happy. Me, I didn't nag, and if I had a complaint , it was in our own home not with an audience.
If there was a remote chance I did happen to like a wife or two. I didn't get too attached because I knew what shananagans their husband was up to. I kept my distance because I wouldn't have to honor the girl code. I figured it was easier to not have friendships than deal with the drama. Plus at the end if the day. Its just business. Looking back I see how lucky I was and still am to have my husband's love and loyalty. Proof marriage can survive in the car business.
