The Steamy Windshield : Labor Day 2005

This weekend is the worst weekend of our lives.......Our son fell 12ft on his head while visiting his friends before going back to school.
Tim had decided to take a break and get out of the dealership settings. He had a team and went on the road doing mailer sales. This actually was great. He was gone a week home a week or gone two home one...depending on how many sales were available and where they would be. That was a good fit for us because it didn't matter where we lived. We decided to go back to Maine. Corey could be back with his friends and Kasha could finish school in Tim's or my home town. We found a house on a lake in Tim's home town and that put us 30 min to my family. During this time we decided to finally get married after a 20 years of dating. We went to the Magistrates office in Newton, NC and we had Kasha and her friend's mother. We had to bribe the little brother of her friends to keep quiet. Our wedding party consisted of people in Orange and bracelets. It didn't matter to us as long as we were married. We then headed to Maine with Kasha, our cat, and dog...that was our honeymoon.

We got there and it for once it felt like home. One thing about Tim and I is we have a love hate relationship with this state. Family came and we started to unpack. Corey's friends came to grab him for the last weekend before school started. That night we got a call that Corey was going to the ER. Didn't think much of it because nothing was said and the last time that happened. He needed 14 stitches in his ear from ripping his earring out of his ear. So, we were thinking broken leg or something minor.

We had to switch cars because we weren't unloaded yet. Finally what seemed forever we got signal and I called one of the friends. He told us Corey fell and I kept asking him details and he was vague. I heard something in his voice that told me it wasn't okay. The guys just kept telling us to GET TO THE ER. Tim, Kasha, and I just looked at each other. I got a hold of the hospital and the ambulance wasn't there yet...they told us Life Flight was on stand by. I have grown up around the emergency field and I knew it wasn't good. We got to the hospital and we were met by someone that said the doctor will be with you shortly. That is where there should have been some dramatic music like in the movies. The doctor came out and told us the surgeon was on his way and it didn't look good. We called my in-laws and my parents. Both of our father's worked in the same paper mill. Tim's father was there and my father was to go in. My father in-law left soon after getting the call and made it home and to the hospital under an hour. Keeping in mind it was 30 min to get home and an hour give or take to get to where the hospital was. My parents were a bit slower because my mother didn't comprehend what I was saying due to taking a sleeping pill. My dad over heard part of the conversation and had called back the ER. I was fine until I heard his voice and lost it. Sobbing to the point of being inconsolable the nurse took the phone and filled him in. They were on their way. Going back to sit with Tim and Kasha I remember looking around hearing the doctor pages, the cart noises, the voices everything jumbled together and it was just a big blur. Sitting there I am watching his friends. He has had these same friends sense he was in the 6th grade. Didn't matter where we moved to. They always remained stead fast and true to each other. They are the reason our son is alive. His friends saved him by doing all the right things. The doctor's come out and told us that he had a Basil skull fracture, temporal fracture, and some minor cracks that actually made it so he didn't need surgery. They had explained that he was intabated and still had blood coming out of his ears, but wanted to know if we wanted to see him. I knew what that all meant and I tried to tell Tim to wait, but he didn't. He came out after seeing him and two of Corey's friends had to catch him. The noise that came out of Tim was one I will never forget. The friends waited until they new he was going into CCU and one by one left. His best friend waited with us until he could see him. As a mother your heart breaks for your own situation, but for me it was twice as hard watching as his friends having to process this, start school, go on with their life while we didn't know what we were going to have once Corey woke up. I have to say that moment I saw just how amazing Kasha Kasha and Tim would go home and would come back when she was out of school.
While Corey was in CCU Dr Posey had to leave due to family being in Hurricane Katrina. The doctor that took his place felt that it was okay to send Corey home, but we had to watch for pages and pages of things that could have happened. Not taking into consideration he had just been awake only two days we were having this conversation. That did not settle well with me. I got a hold of Dr Posey's nurse and demanded they handle this nonsense. He was put on the main floor waiting to go to the trauma center the next day. This was ignorant on someones part and I let it be known. Corey was deaf in one ear. They kept talking to him on that side, his diet was not for one that just smashed his head and side of his face on concrete, the noise level pushed me over the edge and someone with a massive head injury I could only imagine. I had to tell Corey, who still didn't know who I was, to sleep on his good ear. At one point I went out and asked the nurses if they would like the f-ing cliff notes because they were not up on what was going on and they'd best be before they step foot in his room again. Called CCU and asked them why they sent us to the zoo~ The next morning getting things in place for his transfer I left Corey with one of his friends and left the room. She came out to get me and in turn Corey went missing. He had ripped out his IV tubes and took himself to the bath room. The CNA for the head trauma center actually found him. That was the last straw for me. I couldn't be the patient's mother. I had to be the patients Bitch of a mother and trust me there was no room for error as far as I was concerned. They started sending in damage control and it was a joke. Then oddly enough the charge nurse came and and remembered Tim in CCU with Corey and that is where I expressed what should be done and needs to be done. She said I was helpful. Go freaking figure......Get to the trauma center and there didn't have the room the way CCU had so we had to police our selves with visitation. The Bitchy charge nurse was annoyed at all the visitors Corey had and tried to put a limit on his visitors to the point of 5 min or something like that on the door. I took it down brought it to her and asked her to show me where the doctor has an order for such nonsense. There wasn't and she then warned us that she was off for the weekend and she would be checking on Monday to see what a circus we have caused so she could talk to the doctor. HAHA all the staff praised us all for how we maintained. We were told that the Phazyatrist (spelling) would follow us through his recovery. Nope she discharged him after his follow-up and told him to graduate and go to college oh and don't lay around. OMG really!!! Corey doesn't remember life until almost October. We got home and the first thing Tim had Corey do is play his guitar. He did and that was a blessing. But, the rest was a nightmare. We had nothing in place that was for a head injury and nobody seemed to know what to do. I kept researching and calling on different agencies for days on end to the point of driving my self crazy. The only doctor I could depend on was his primary doctor. Finally we got him into the intragrated rehab center that specializes with head injuries and that was a start. While this was going on Corey's behavior was getting too much for me to handle. It got so bad that Kasha would have to snap him out of it. The way he treated me was like the way an abusive husband treats their wife. He wasn't violent or inappropriate so that was a good thing, just mouthy that never ended. Tim was in a situation where does he leave and do a sale or does he stay and take care of his family? This business has no tolerance for taking care of your self or your family. It is all about selling cars and making money. Sometimes even the owners are so greedy they don't care if the ones that are working for you make money as long as they do. Never in my husband's career have I ever told him what I wanted or needed. I just sat back and let him make the choices and I would just go with it. That was a huge mistake on my part because this is my life too and looking back I should have been the voice of reason. I am an outsider looking in and yet, living it. So I have two votes that I should have used. Tim had set in place a good friend to fill in while we were taking care of our family. We decided with the help of our parents he could go on the road just it would be less of a schedule. When the time came that Tim could go back on the road and take back the team. The good friend told him he could go back on a trial basis and work under him and for less money. I did say friend right? Right then and there Tim saw what I have seen for quite some time and in that very moment chose his family over this business. Financially it broke us, but life wise it was one of the best times of our life. We had a house full of life and new beginnings. Corey was recovering, but with the recovery came a lot of quirks and painful headaches. At one point he had a pill for a symptom A pill for a side effect and a pill for that pill. We had doctor appointments, therapy appointments, and I was thankful for our friend. Had he not been selfish and greedy, we wouldn't have had this time as a family. With all I know of what he has done, lets just say he is lucky I was busy for the next two years. I am a believer of you reap what you sew.
Corey's friends would call or visit. Kasha was busy in school and finally Dad was there to enjoy time spend with the kids. Our door was revolving and we had a kid filled house and grandparents on the weekend. To this day Kasha's friends tell us how great it was being there with Tim cooking and building the fire or having movie night or the famous Crewperbrowl with all of Corey's friends.